Coming Soon! Why Americans are so fat. Irony Alert! Unbelievable! Coming Soon! Why are Europeans such arrogant assholes? Take this jackass, for instance. Go ahead and click on it. The site owner asked me for a link so he can collect "meandingful stats." Also Coming Soon! Something smells like old gym shoes wrapped in a black plastic garbage bag and left out in the sun for a week. What's with the stupid Euro clothes? In America, it's a fashion faux pas to wear black socks with Birkenstocks. Hey Euro guys: Skin-tight shorts on men went out of style in 1979.     Reader Comments Interesting commentary from Norway resident Edward Welbourne.

Why Americans are so STUPID Europeans take great delight in mocking American ignorance in geographical matters. The fact that so many older American tourists in Europe dress like they're playing in a golf tournament for the color blind does nothing to change that impression. I've actually heard a co-worker ask a client in Belgium, "How long does it take to drive there?" January 2006 Update: This page get a lot of traffic, mostly from European leftists who search "Why are Americans stupid" on Google. How proud these visitors must be, searching for ways to denigrate others. I am sick of the spiteful e-mails. It was funny at first, but I am tired of replying to them. If you disagree with me, if you want to send me an angry letter saying how stupid Americans are and how superior Europeans are, fine. Do it here, please. All your petty hatreds are right there, and you can mock us as much as you want. May 2005 Update: I went and joined the blogging community. Maintaining a web site is a hassle, especially when time is short. Please visit my blog when you're done here. It's where my comments and updates will be, including lots of updates about stupid Americans. I'll post some of the funnier e-mails I get about this page, and you'll be free to comment on them. I've never understood this. So many Americans seem to almost wallow in their ignorance. If you regularly watch shows like 60 Minutes or 20/20, you've probably seen videotaped footage of college kids being asked challenging geography questions: John Stossell: Can you point out Japan on this globe? Booze-addled sorority girl: Is that it? (giggle) John Stossell: That's Nigeria. Why the hell are Americans so stupid? A caveat: A great many Americans are culturally and geographically literate. Typically, they're people in business, people online (AOL and WebTV users excepted), most (but not all) teachers... these Americans are culturally and geographically literate. With that out of the way, here are some personal theories. (Ain't the Web a great place to vent?) 1. Hollywood. No, it's not a nefarious Hollywood plot. The vast majority of popular movies and television shows are either set in the US or some bizarre fantasy world. American viewers rarely see other cultures or other countries. Meanwhile, the rest of the world gobbles up this Hollywood crap. The result? People in the rest of the world think they know more about the US than the average American knows about, say, Switzerland. For the most part they're right, although they do form rather weird misconceptions about the US. 2. Lazy parents. I come from a family of voracious readers, and if you've read this far you probably did too. I've always loved to read. I've also always loved maps, and my parents encouraged this. Kids can easily discover the pleasures of learning about the rest of the world, but too many parents don't give a crap. Their kids are in day care all day, and when they come home Mom is content to plop their butts in front of the television, placated on a diet of Nintendo and bad Korean animation. (Not to pick on Mom, because she works hard. Mom and Dad are usually divorced at this point, if they were ever married in the first place, and Dad is out trolling the bars.) I am convinced that this is the primary reason why so many of our kids are illiterate and/or oblivious to the world around them. Parents, get off your lazy asses and act as good role models. 3. Nonsense in our schools. Schools have become warehouses for children, with hassled, underpaid teachers having to spend more time dealing with bureaucratic bullsh**, stupid educational theories (i.e., the Open Classroom concept and "self-esteem"), and disciplinary action than actual teaching. It doesn't help that so many parents don't give a hoot once their kid's in school - the school's simply now a free combination day care/restaurant/medical dispensary/discipline center for them to drop their kids off. Public education is a big suckhole that devours more of our tax dollars each year, so where the hell does our tax money go? It sure doesn't go to the teachers. 4. Self-Gratification So many American kids get no direction in life other than self-gratification. "If it feels good, do it!" seems to be their motto, and since their parents live that way why should they be any different? I've never understood parents allowing their high school-age children to go on "spring break". Spring break is an excuse for children to get drunk without any supervision. It's natural for kids to want to do that. What's NOT natural is that so many parents think it's OK. 5. Perhaps Americans aren't that stupid. The co-worker I mentioned above is highly skilled at what he does, working on sophisticated electronics. He does it well. He just doesn't know much about geography. Since the US is an enormous country compared to individual European countries, Americans haven't had to be as "international" as the residents of the many small European countries. While this is changing with the expansion of global trade, most Americans still only deal with other Americans in the course of their everyday lives, as opposed to Europeans who regularly deal with neighboring countries that have different cultures. It all boils down to the fact that knowledge and intelligence are two different issues. Rote memorization of world capitals does not equate intelligence. I do find it interesting that Europeans have such strong opinions on this, considering that there are many more pressing issues to be concerned about. Perhaps the steady European refrain of "Americans are stupid" is a reflection of their own deep-rooted insecurity. You know -- an inferiority complex. It is also interesting to note that Europeans are as shit-stupid as Americans. (I get lots of hate letters from EuroTrash for pointing this fact out.) For instance, many French believe that the US government flew a 757 into the Pentagon on September 11. This belief is incredibly stupid, yet a shockingly large percentage of the French find it perfectly reasonable. It is ironic that a society so opinionated about Americans believes something so absurd. The Germans are stupid as well. For instance, the Mayor of Berlin does not know when World War II started. According to a study published by Die Welt, more than half of all Germans under 24 do not know what the Holocaust was. Same with the British. According to a recent poll, "Nearly Half of Britons Are Unaware of Auschwitz." My theory is these are Guardian readers. So what are the answers, Mr. Smart Guy? I don't know. I do know that I'm raising my kid to appreciate and enjoy geography, science and history. It's not difficult to do. Wanna mail me? Go for it. Or click here if you wanna go back to WATCHINGYOU.COM. Updated 1/24/2006.